Hello again
Well it has been two weeks now and mom is still being aggressive. Tonight, out of the three and half hours I was their. I was only not hit for about one half hour. I am OK if mom hits my shoulder, but the shoulder is not good enough. Mom wants the head and allot of times that is where I get it. On the left side of my head.
I know it is the disease that is causing this. But it hurts me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. OK I may be a big baby, and I do sometimes cry over this. It is hard to endure. For two weeks straight now. Well except for one day. That has been it.
She was constipated, due to the excessive use of Tylenol products. And I believe her sleep pattern is being disturbed, by the staff turning her bed to a different angle.
This I caught the other day. I left my phone behind. Got on a bus and then realized it. Got off at the next stop and walked back. When I got their, mom's bed was moved from the position that I need her bed to be in, nightly.
Facing east-west, with the sunrise and sunset. Balance with the earths movements. But I arrived and found mom's bed was north-south. And the nurse came running in and gave me some lame excuse that mom was almost falling out of bed. There are guard rails up. I make sure of this, every night when I leave. Then yesterday I checked the care sheet and of course this is what they do when I leave at night. They go in and change the position of the bed.
Of course mom's sleep pattern is off. On top of this, her roommate needs her medication changed. She is hallucinating and seeing and talking to no one through-put the night. Keeping mom awake.
Tonight being Valentines Day, I made mom the salad she loves, plus a pork steak(BBQ) She ate most of the salad, but did not even want the steak. She would not even eat the roast beef dinner the home provided. Only most of the salad and her papaya and chocolates. But all the way throw dinner I was ducking her slaps and punches.
Even after getting her into bed, and giving her a foot massage and washing her face. arms and legs. She still was angry.
I really worry about this. As I don't want mom to have a heart attack or another stroke. I try to calm her down, through breathing exercises. But nothing tonight. She just didn't want to be fussed with and wanted me to go.
I had to go anyway to get my prescription for vertigo and my dizziness.The doctor is trying to find out why I am falling over to the right all the time.
This is the first in a series of test I need done. He believes I might of hand a small stroke. Hence the inability to use my right hand and the tingling on the right side of my face. So I am awaiting a MRI for this. I am forgetting how to spell the simplest of words. Dropping things all the time, I am getting weaker and weaker on my right side.
I am going for a hearing test on Monday. To see if this is causing my falling.
But do you think anyone gives a crap that I am falling apart and my health is deteriorating
Now to another issue. I mentioned I found a place and worked out a great deal. Well I found out that the couple let the place go today. They were sorry. But they needed to rent it out. Of course they rented out for the asking price. The deal was for me and because of what I am doing. And my ill health.
I didn't tell them soon enough. Well I have absolutely nothing to of moved in with. That damn evil thing called money.
I would of only had a bed to move in with. Nothing else and no way of getting anything else. Yes there is a place I could get free furniture, but no way of getting it out to White Rock. I don't have a car/truck.
And then there is everything else. Pots and pans, dishes and cutlery etc..........
So it seems I am stuck in Coquitlam. This is not a good thing for me. I really feel stuck out her. So far away. And part of me getting this doctor is me living in the White Rock area. That is a rule they have. Just fucking great. I finally find a doctor and other things and this happens today. Loosing the place.
There is another place. Which is only a block away. But this I need additional money for. Can't get a deal on this place. I tried. Nice and new. Only $775. Including everything. Well not furnishings. But a block away. I walk out of mom's place down the street. The next street behind the hospital. You can see mom's home from this place. Standing on the front porch. Perfect. A nice gas fireplace and newer appliances. Not huge, but big enough for me.
I really need help right now. An influx of money. I pray and pray. GOD know I travel 6 hours a day and don't get home until 10:30 pm nightly. He knows I don't eat all the time. And HE knows I am willingly doing this for mom. See needs someone to be there for her. Not to be left alone. Like most of the other people are.
There is no one that I have seen in the last many years that do what I do, be there everyday for mom. And have for years and years. No one even stays as long as I do every night. I am there, sometimes, 4 hours in a day. Not a single person. I know, I see the family come and go. I know who is there allot and who only comes once in a while.
There is no one as dedicated to their parent as I am. I am proud of this.
Well time to go. I am sick and tired of this bullshit life I live. Where nothing turns out. No matter how much good I do for others. I don't do any of what I do for the benefit of anyone else but mom.
GOD bless and good night
Please pray for me and help if you can
Kris Schmuland
