Hello again
So I was in a great mood, feeling happy. Then I got off the bus close to my house and this great cloud of depression feel upon me. A shadow of darkness, one that makes you want to sit down, right where you are and just stay there. Knowing that I am coming to this place were I reside, to emptiness, despair and loneliness. Void of any human contact...... Walking in knowing there is a mess that is not of my making. Isolated in a room.
Seeing, on the way back, all of these people with presents under their arms, counting on the joy of the faces when they are opened. Knowing that I am not able to do this in anyway what soever. Not seeing faces of joy.
Mom is fine, she ate really well tonight. Plus it was a yellow papaya again. Mom ate it with hesitation.
The care aid was late getting mom to bed, which gives me less time to just hold her hand, making sure she falls asleep with comfort and warmth.
I apologized to her for not being able to stay longer. It really does bother me greatly. I am at a loss.
Mom needs things and I just don't have it, to make this happen. And of course the PGT is at their same old bullshit. Not replying to my emails. They must be trained in the Scrooge method of dealing with people at this time of the year. To ignore them and keep up with the crap they like to hand out.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
