Hello again
I want to bring up the girl again. I did ask her to marry me, over the phone, and she did say yes. But again my alcoholism stopped me from going to get her.
It's been 10 years now since I last spoke to her. So she is probably married by now with children. My mistake. My addiction
The other side of this coin is, If I was married would I able to take care of my father first and now my mother. Probably not.
I know as an alcoholic I owe many people apologies but the biggest apology I owe anyone is this women. I hope one day to be able to do this. I just want her to know.
I quite drinking because of loosing her and the fact that I had two parents who needed someone to be their for them. First and foremost are my parents. Well mom now.
Looking after mom and loosing Tara is what keeps me sober and clean.
Not only did I loose the girl but I lost the first few years of helping to take care of my dad with his Alzheimer's. The way I should of and did after quitting.
I was still their visiting with my dad and mom during my last days of drinking. But not the way I am now.
It was not long after she left and my parents became ill, that I was on my way to becoming a sober individual.
I have to keep sight of these two things to make sure I stay sober. To remind me of what one can loose.
Now on to this evening
I arrived and mom was in bed. I asked if mom was sick, and no one knew. They checked the log and still no one could tell me why she was in bed. It turns out that they were just to lazy to get her up for the day.
I feed her dinner, mom ate a fare amount this evening. But what she really loves is the smoothie. I don't have anymore supplement to put into the smoothies. I need to get some. As it is fall and mom needs all the nutrients she can get. That mean the Vega One supplement in the morning as well as in her smoothies.
I turned her stereo up and we listened to good music. Her roommate was up, so we had the room to our selves for a change. All mom wanted to do was hold my hand. I know when this happens she just falls asleep. I needed her to eat.
We finished dinner and I gave mom her nightly spa treatment. She could not wait for me to finish her spa treatment. I did and then held her hand. Mom closed her eyes and relaxed.
It wasn't long before they came into change her and then it was back to holding her hand, while she fell off to sleep.
It is a long road back to Coquitlam, especially in the rain and wind. But, again, I will continue to do this. Mom needs me.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
