I am going to touch on a singular issue this evening. My reason for quiting drinking and smoking pot.
Last week, I mean last Wednesday September 25. I read an article in the Vancouver Metro daily concerning a older gentlemen who gave up crack for the love of his dog. As he could not take care of the dog while drugged out of it.
I give him props for doing this.
But what about the people who give up additions for actual people.
I am or was an alcoholic and pot head. I mean I use to drink 25 + strong beer each and everyday. I smoked no less than a quarter oz of pot per day. I am telling you that this was every single day of my life.
I know I have always had a problem with addiction. This is the second time that I have quite both addictions. The first time I was 20 and it lasted for 10 years. And I accomplished allot during that time.
Then when I was in my early 30's I was in a serious car accident. The doctor thought I broke my lower back and had to wear this back brace. I was given heavy pain killers and that just was not good. So I went to my doctor and gave him the pills back. Told him that I can't take these, that I will just drink and smoke pot to kill the pain. I started to drink and smoke pot again. I somewhat controlled it for many years. But that is always a load of crap. Saying I controlled it. And it just got worse. A six pack turned into 12 and 12 turned into 24 and so on. And the same with pot.... A few joints turned into an eighth and then a quarter than more.
I dated but I was to busy using to have anything last. I did not pay much attention to my parents or family. But I was not rude to my parents. Just the rest of the family. As I never liked any of them. Especially my sisters. I only like one member of mom's family. My great aunt and OK her daughter. No one else. I tolerated everyone else.
Then in my later 30's 37 to be exact, I met this women. We were just friends. We hung out, partied and did all sorts of things together. BBQ's all over the place.
My father was starting to develop Alzheimer's at this point. Just mild Alzheimer's. Would forget things and how to do things.
The girl and I became very close. I actually fell in love for the first time in my life. We hung out all the time. We only saw our other's once a week after a couple of years knowing each other. And I didn't mind spending time with her at all. But she would ask if we didn't drink all the time. I tired, but not very well. She had a twin, and she became pregnant. So the twin and her boy friend moved back east to be closer to his family. Tara and I became closer. We could not be apart from one another. We sort of started to date. But the twin was about to have her baby and Tara went back east to be with her....
This was extremely hard on me. I never felt love like that before. I missed her completely. We spoke by phone and she told me she would move back if someone would come and get her.
I was in the last stages of my drinking and could not do this. OK I wanted to drink and smoke pot.
But my sisters talked my parents into selling their home. OK coned them into this. They moved to a farm. Which my parents never every wanted to do. It was my older sister and her husband who wanted a farm with the promise of looking after them. And this was pure Bull Shit. They were stuck in the middle of no where. With no where to to. I am going to stop with that now. As it holds some deep resentment towards them.
Now dad had a major stroke and needed more help than my sister was or even could give to him. I talked them into selling the farm. Thank GOD.
Well they moved in with the other sister and that was even worse. They were stuck in the middle of no where as well, but without anything. And in a small place. My dad got worse and, of course the other sister, like the older one, could not look after him. So dad was placed in a home.
Now I live in coquitlam and did at the time. I wanted both mom and dad out here. But the sisters out voted me and had him place out their. 60 km's away. On the promise they would take care of him and visit him all the time.
I was still drinking but I went out their 4 to 5 times a week. I just made sure I had what I needed for the night when I got home. Mom was with the sister and I would go see dad and then on my way back I would stop and see mom.
Oh by the way, I did not have a car at the time. And would hitch hike or take what ever bus to get out to see them . I could get to see dad by train, than I would have to hitch hike back to see mom. I would bring groceries out to her. As there was never enough.
When mom was moved into the same home as dad. I had a major decision to make. To continue to drink and smoke or to quite and take care of my parents the way the took care of me when I was young.
I couldn't do this anymore to them. I had to stand up and be a man. To honor my mother and father, the way it is was instilled in me growing up as a Christian. So this is what I did. I went to AA and meeting all the time. And still went to visit mom and dad all the time. When dad passed away, I realized I did not spend as much time with him as I could.
After this, a few months after dad passed away I was in two more accidents and was injured again. At this point it is when I decided that I would devote my time looking after mom. And this is what I have been doing for over 6 years now. And the both of them for 4 or five years prior to this.
I regret nothing. I live very poorly. I don't have much at all. I go without all the time. Yes I am loosing my hearing. My knee's are wrecked because of this bus thing. I am in pain all the time. But none of this will stop me from taking care of mom. I have seen her everyday for 5 years or more now. I don't miss days.
I fight for her rights. And I go and go and go. I won't stop taking care of mom.
Now this is a very good reason to quite drinking and smoking pot. To give up my life for another human being.
It is nice this guy quite crack for his dog. But I am a human being and so is my mother.
Why don't they write about this. A person giving up his addictions, instantly, for the love of a real human being. My mother and father.
This is the story that should of been written. Not about another drug addict quitting. As this paper and others seem to like to write about. And these individuals doing nothing after this. They just quite and were written about.
I have written them in the past, when another paper did a similar story.
This is a true story, a story of a son giving up everything to make sure his loved ones are well taken care of. And being their for them all the time, and will continue to do so.
And every September since Tara left I wish her a happy birthday in absence and miss her allot. I try to get over her and do until September rolls around again.
I have never felt love like that again.
Don't get me wrong I love my mother greatly. I really thought that I could marry that girl. And alcohol and drugs took that away, and more time I could of spent with my father.
I will be sending this post off to the paper that wrote that story. just not tonight.
It is after midnight again.
I hope this explains a few things to everyone.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland.
