Hello again
So my last posts where angry. Well damn right. It is me who is loosing my hearing. And it is freaking me out. I don't know sign language, but can read lips OK. On top of every other crap that I am going through, it is not fun for me.
Can't afford the hearing aids I need. I can't even afford the medication that I need to stop the Vertigo and to help me from falling. Very dangerous. I have no spleen, so I easily break bones.
So yes I am pissed off.
But I will state this. I do not bring any of my anger into the home where mom lives. I check it at the door. I put a smile on my face and I don't bring any of this up with anyone their. No matter what I think or how I feel. I deal with it, before or after or just ignore it. Hard to do when YOU CAN'T HEAR. This is a first for me. Well I guess so. How many times in one's life does one loose their hearing. But there are many firsts for me.
Looking after mom is a first. And there are many firsts each and everyday of the week. A good thing and a bad thing. I guess. After all each day brings about interesting things.
I watch my mother change. I watch her not being able to do things. That not so long ago she had no problem doing. I hold her hand and let her know it is OK and that I will be there for her, no matter what happens. That she can count on me. This is the only thing I am interested in doing, is to help you mom.
I sit beside her and hold her hand nightly, until she falls asleep. No matter what time I end up getting home. 3 hours journey, each way. 210 km's daily. 7 days a week. Without fail. And will never change.
People find it hard to believe that I do this. I just say, follow me for a day, and you will see. I dare people to tag a long with me for even a week. See what it is like.
I am not the perfect son. I am not anything. I am just a person who cares enough about his mother to give up everything, willingly, to make sure my mother is healthy and happy. Even if it means to picket the PGT or fight for everything for mom. No problem. I am willing to do what it takes. And have done this over and over again. Happy to do it....
Someone needs to do this. Lonely seniors die sooner and I will not let my mother sit alone all the time. If I had the money I would have her live with me and take care of her, myself. But I don't and I do feel really guilty about this.
I feel really guilty that I can't offer her more. I will go without so mom can have. It is the way. I am sure mom and dad sacrificed allot while I grew up. So my turn
Anyways the week. Mom has been eating most of her dinners. But they are not very good. I have not been able to make her any. Mary has now been getting a supplement with her daily medication. Vega One. This is good. I had to talk the doctor into giving it to her. I do see that mom is a little better, health wise, by taking it. This way she is getting the vitamins and minerals she is lacking in the meals she gets at the home. Boiled vegetables. I have explained my thought on boiling foods. But I will repeat it.
One might as well drink the water that the foods were boiled in. Because that is where all the nutrients are. They were boiled away. Fresh is always better, raw is even better.
I am not a vegetarian or vegan. But I do believe in the giving mom foods that are as fresh as possible and raw vegetables.
Today, Sunday, is bath day. So they put mom Mary in bed afterwards. So I feed her in bed. I wash her hair two to three times a week. As they do it once a week.
I have been massaging her left arm and hand, to loosen it up. It is working. Her left hand is not so clinched up as it had been. And she is able to move her left arm more. I excersise her arm as much as possible. Sometimes mom just does not want to be fused with. She just wants her nightly spa treatment and for me to hold her hand while she falls asleep.
Music makes her happy. I turn the music player on and put it on speaker from the moment I get their and it is on for three to four hours each day. So having a charger is important. And mom has not been happy this past week and a half without the music playing. I place it on her chest, the phone that is, so she can not only hear it but feel the music as well. It is completely calming to her and for her.
Not good this last little while. She does have a nice stereo. It is not the same as having the music right below her ears and on her chest to feel it.
Mom has been wanting me to change her pad this last little while. I am not leaving her side, even when the staff come in to change her pad. Mary does not let go of my hand and does not want me to leave while the staff are in the room. So I stay. I have no problem with it. If mom doesn't, I don't.
Mom has been in good health lately. Tonight I had to leave a little early, so I could come home to do some laundry. Some of hers as well. yes I drag it with me, on the bus, back to Coquitlam. Some of her clothing, I don't want them to get ruined, as it does at the home she is in. So I do it. Once again no problem.
The weather has not been the greatest. To cold to take mom out. I hope it gets better soon. Mary needs fresh air. And I don't care what my sisters think. They have no legal right to say anything. And if they do have a document stating they are in charge of my mothers health. They are in serious trouble. Because it is completely illegal.
I research the law and have spoken to many lawyers about this.
But I digress. It is time for me to go to bed. Nothing in my cupboards, so hunger is setting in. Don't worry, hunger pains go away after 2 or three days. I only have to make it until Wednesday or Thursday. I think I can do it. Have do this many times before. So I guess it is OK. It will have to be. No other choice in this matter.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
