Hello again
How are y'all doing these days. OK
So things just seem to go from bad to worse in my life. Had to return the phone that I was borrowing. My phone is not working. No time on it or contract, and no cash to pay for anything. The charger for my phone broke. And the phone is absolutely essential to mom's life and happiness. I use it to play music for her over dinner. I place the phone on her chest while I wash her face, arms and legs. Then apply lotions. I use it to play movies on her TV. I had to get an adapter for the phone, but I need to plug my phone into a outlet to use the adapter. Can't do this now. I have to hold the cord, for the charger a certain way to get it to charge and I have to do this continuously. And it takes a very long time to charge the phone. This charger just broke yesterday, and today mom was upset that she didn't get the same music therapy she is use to and this made her angry.
Music therapy has been an essential part of her therapy. It keeps her calm and relaxed. Without the charger, none of this can happen. The PGT does not seem to understand this. They say it is not essential to mom's health. Give me a break. It has been years and years that I have used phones for the music therapy for mom.
Then the other day I go into the drug store to pick up a prescription and they tell me I have to pay them for this. I say, I don't think so, my prescriptions are covered. This drug that I need, is to help with my vertigo/Meneires disease Without it I get dizzy and fall over. It is the same disease that is causing me to loose my hearing. Part of the disease is vertigo, dizziness, falling and hearing loss. The problem is two weeks ago, OK 15 days ago, I picked the same drug and it was fully covered. 15 days later I need to pay for it. I don't have the money for the medication that stops me from falling over and injuring myself in the process. Just great.
I come home to make something and my stuff has been used by this alcoholic women. So what I need to eat is gone. This is my day. I go to bed tonight without anything. And this chick pays less than I do and has her boyfriend living here as well and he is a prescription drug junkie.
Anyways, I am starting to feel really depressed again. It has been a few years since I was this depressed. Not good. I am trying not to show it to mom, I don't need her feeling bad. Or thinking it has anything to do with her. It has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with not getting the help I need. As in funds to actually live on. Funds to get hearing aids. Or enough to find a place or have my phone working.
I am disabled and have serious health issues. I really don't need this bullshit.
I need to get help so in turn I can do more for mom. Which is the only thing I want to do. Is take care of Mary.
I want to be able to be their to feed her lunch as well as dinner. And take her out and about.
Well today, I arrived early to get mom out. But I ran into the girls from the church. And we spoke for a while. I just got to mom's in time for dinner. Which she, Mary ate quite a bit of. Well she ate the crackers and dip plus allot of her smoothie. And half a papaya. Plus some Logan berries. She did manage to eat some of the dinner the home provided. But not all of it.
And it was time for her spa treatment. Got her into bed. I love it that Mary just wants to hold my hand from the time I get their until I leave. It is the best feeling in the world to me. To know that she trusts me and loves me. That Mary feels safe when I am there.
It is truly a blessed opportunity that I have been given. To look after my mother. Nothing compares and will.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
