Hello again
Since earlier, I have been thinking. Yes I know how to do this.
I am not going to feel guilty anymore because of what I do. I don't eat most of the time, My clothes don't fit anymore. I am in pain all the time.
I haven't dated in a very long time, we are talking many, many years. And who would have me, anyways. I am nothing. Except I am the one who takes care of mom, and makes sure she is looked after.
I am the one who has been threatened with law suites. I am the one that fights all, for mom's rights. I am their every single day. No matter what. Even if I am starving, not wanting to even get out of bed. That I am extremely cold all the time, because of not having a winter jacket. I am extremely depressed.
I get out of bed, I get ready and I travel 3 hours each way to see mom. And I look forward to it each and everyday.
And when I get their and there is a huge smile on mom's face, everything is worth while. No matter what crap is happening to me. I am sure allot of it is self imposed. Maybe.
But the point being. I am their and no one else is or has been. I need to move to White Rock to make sure mom is looked after even better.
To be able to bring her over to my place for lunch, dinner or just a visit. Just to get her out of the Al Hogg pavilion for awhile.
I am doing what is right by my mother. OK I don't have anything, I just wish I could buy mom a few nice presents for Christmas. And supply her with more home cooked meals. Being closer would allow me this opportunity, as it would free up 6 or more hours in a day, for me to get other resources together to help out.
So I leave you now, I go to bed tonight hungry, as I have for the last week. And I feel that GOD has forsaken me. I am sure HE hasn't. Just my imagination working over time.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
