Hello again
My heart broke tonight. I was not able to bring mom a dinner tonight. I have nothing, no groceries. I am going to bed again without dinner. But this does not compare to not being able to bring mom a home cooked meal everyday.
Mom kept pointing towards a container. Which has her cheese in it. And she kept reaching for my bag, over and over again. Trying to see if there was anything in there for her. Her dinner. Mom is used to me bringing things for her. But, again, I have nothing. I don't even have any groceries in my fridge or cupboards. Empty. And I started to cry, when I had to tell her I had nothing for her and explain that I have no groceries to make anything with. That I don't know when I will get groceries. I will try mom, I said as I was tearing up.
As it is they don't provide food with any taste to it. Tonight's dinner was this cabbage roll. And this is dry and tasteless with the same old mashed potatoes and string beans. Not what she wanted to eat. She kept reaching for my bag, just to make sure I didn't forget something.
This was the most heartbreaking evening I have every experienced. To know I am not able to bring mom a home cooked meal. I only have enough for her Lindor Truffles and a papaya daily for a week. I have enough of her drinks to last for a while. Bought them on sale and in bulk.
Now here in lies a problem for me. Mom has to sit in her filth for who knows how many hours in the day. The staff don't change her, or a matter of fact, they don't change anyone of the residence. I have to now fight to get this done. Which should be a given.; Again I say, Would you let a baby sit in their own filth for any length of time. The answer is no. Why would one let a helpless seniors sit in their own filth for any length of time.
And the other problem I have is that I have two sisters who don't help at all. It would be nice if one of them helped me with this problem. But this is never going to happen. So it is left to me. And I will do what is necessary to get this situation solved.
I pray daily that I could get help with the moving to White Rock. I pray that the only thing I want to do is to look after mom full time. To be there for her at all times. And living in Coquitlam, traveling two to three hours each way, there and back, daily. I cannot do this. By living out their I will free up 6 hours or more to be able to concentrate on doing things of mom. Joining another church and volunteer for the Christian group that helps with the patients and residences at the Peace Arch Hospital, the Weather Be Pavilion and the Al Hogg Pavilion. This way I can stay with mom latter and get home early. To be able to, maybe, do things to get ahead for mom.
What I need is real help from anyone. I have had a health problem recently, that can end my life. I need to maintain good health. By being stress free, sort to speak.
But it is late and nothing to make for dinner for mom or myself. So I need to go to bed, watch some of what I just downloaded and fall asleep. Oh yea, after I read my nightly bible plan. I have been reading the bible, daily for years and years now. And love every bit of it. Then I need to pray to GOD and thank HIM for healing mom and to help me get to White Rock to look after mom full time.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
