Hello again
How is everyone today. It was a nice day today. But I am starting to really feel the stress. My specialist is wondering why I have not got my hearing aids yet.
As I have been saying I don't have the money for them and I am not covered by anything. There is no resources for me to get for this. I am not even having any success with my fund raising campaign. Not a red cent so far and it has been three, yes three weeks.
I am constantly tweeting, posting to facebook. I have allot of new friends, Of the upper class and still nothing. And I really don't even know how I became friends with them. It is good though. I see how they live and the photo's they post. Also the artists, whose work I am seeing. Stunning.
Now. I am stressed out about taking the bus. I can't do it anymore. But I will not stop. My landlord is being a racists. I need to move.
He, being Asian, has said to me, I don't like white people. And when you and the other white people move out of here, I am only going to rent to Chinese. Really.
I am trying to learn Mandarin, since it is our unofficial second language. It is suppose to be French. But I am on the west coast and we don't speak much French here. And I just want to learn the language.
As long as I have my ear buds in, I can hear it, OK. The lessons I am speaking about. This is the way I have to use my phone. With ear buds or nothing. I don't answer my phone otherwise.
I am just burnt out. I am exhausted all day long. But I don't show this to mom. I have a smile on my face and I love her. I am there and I leave this crap at the door. I will not let her know I am feeling this way.
Mom needs my strength. Not my complaining.
Today mom was smiles when she saw me, but very thirsty as usual. I seems that they do not give her anything to drink all afternoon........ I am serious about this.
Now I made mom a pasta bake, this I know she likes. I asked her last night if she wanted this. Yes she said. So that is what I made for her last night. It was a very large portion and she ate half of it. I think she could of eaten more. But I got there a little late. I wanted to be there early, to start dinner early. But no.....
Since I ended up home later than normal last night. The casual took way to long to put mom to bed and change her, as well as mom's roommate. The staff didn't even get into mom's room until very late. Which mean't I didn't finish mom's spa treatment until late. And left late, which mean't I missed the bus and had to wait until 9 pm. And didn't get home until almost midnight. I brought this up with her today. She wasn't to happy about this.
So tonight she did come in on time and I was completely finished mom's spa treatment early. So I had time to sing to her, hold her hand. When I got back to the room, mom was already falling asleep. I quickly did the spa treatment for her.
I love just standing there, holding mom's hand. As she squeezes my hand ever so tight. Holding on. cherishing the moment. Pulling my arm tight against her. I just love this. She then falls asleep. Only after I sing our good night song to her.
I can't afford to keep making these type of dinners for her. But I will do my best to make something nice each day. Even if it means I don't eat. I am use to this. I don't have the money to make dinners or lunches or anything for myself. Oh well. That is life. The way it is. To bad, to sad.
I will continue to make mom her home made dinners. She needs this. After eating two meals a day of the food that is served to her, she needs something that has taste and appeal. That is why I do this for her. And the fact she enjoys my cooking. I don't get to cook for anyone else.
Since I don't have a girlfriend and haven't had one in a very long time. I have no one to cook for. And since I haven't had a girlfriend in a long, very long time. I really have decided that I don't care if I ever have another girlfriends. I really don't. I have been alone and even without friends for so very long. This is the way it is. Yes I do get lonely, but oh well. so be it.
Now looking after mom is the only thing I want and need to do. I need to be in white rock now, since my landlord is causing problems. He wants me out, without giving me an eviction notice.
I need to hear properly. I need hearing aids. I know I have asked for help in the past and I thought what way have you to help me. This is a way. This is important. I don't hear much of any conversation, unless I am looking directly at someone.
So please help me, by helping me, you are helping my mother. Who is dying bit by bit. One piece of her at a time. That is the nature of Alzheimer's. It takes away one bit of you at a time.
www.Gofundme.com/yugmns
Please I ask you to donate. Even if it is just $5.00 The hearing aids are important. I have provided proof of this on this campaign update pages. As well as proof of the medication I take for my Parkinson's.
GOD will truly bless you for this.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland,
