Hello again
I am not sure if the rest of the world does the time change thing as we do in North America. It is a pain. Everyone's bodies internal clock is thrown out of whack for a few days. It is especially hard on our Seniors who rely on a fixed schedule. their bodies clock is use to eating at a certain time. Dinner at 5 pm. Well it is now 4 when they are expecting dinner. This is what their bodies tell them. Today they had to wait an hour. Which, as of yesterday was 6 pm.
This hold very true for mom today. When I arrived she was already getting tired. Having not eaten dinner when her body was telling her it was dinner. And by 6 pm which is 5 pm today, mom is getting tired and is ready to be changed and put to bed. So when I arrived mom was not interested in dinner. I gave her the drinks as usual, got everything together for dinner and went out to our spot.
I gave mom a bite to eat and she just chewed it for 15 minutes. Yes she just chewed and chewed and chewed. This is how she is when she is very tired. I brought her a nice dinner, but was to hard to chew tonight. It wouldn't of been most nights. But tonight it was. She did eat the served dinner. All minced, easy to swallow.
I should be saying that, mom chews an chews, but doesn't swallow. She doesn't have a problem with swallowing, she has no problem drinking, so she can swallow. Mom is just very tired. She ate what she could and I got dessert ready. This was the same. Though she loves her papaya, to tired to chew and swallow. But she did eat the papaya. It just took time. And we have plenty of time.. I don't rush her, I just talk to her.
She wasn't even interested in talking. All mom wanted was to go to bed and hold my hand. That was it. I got her changed and ready for bed. The staff member was late, so I was about to put her to bed myself when the staff member came in. I was going to put her to bed and change her diaper. I have done this many times and mom has not problem with me doing this.
Because mom was so tired, I just washed her face and neck tonight. That is the only part of the spa treatment that I did. I told her I wasn't going to fuss with her to much tonight. Just relax mom and go to sleep. I will be standing right here beside you holding your hand. She just smiled.
I was about to leave, as mom was completely asleep, when the nurse came into give mom her nightly medicine. In other words she woke mom up to give her medicine to help her sleep. Yes that is what I said and that is the medicine they give her at night.
Now mom was awake and not to impressed. I needed to unpack to give mom something to drink, to wash the taste away. Then I needed to reapply the lotion to her face. Needless to say, mom was even less impressed. It was OK though. She got to hear our good night song twice and get twice the good night kisses. This she smiled at.
The the one problem I am having is that I won't be able to bring mom a home cooked meal for the next few days. I have nothing. Nothing in my fridge, nothing in my freezer. I am eating cereal. I have not yet missed bringing mom a home cooked meal in the last six years. No once. Bad times. I feel even less of a good son and very guilty.
What is going to happen tomorrow, when I show up and mom is expecting something. Today was a right off because of the day light savings time change. One hour back. When we have to sit there and wait for someone to bring the served meal. And they aways ask what I made for dinner for mom tonight. I don't care if they ask or not. I care that this will be the first time in six years.
I have been going to visit and take care of mom,everyday, for a very long time. Everyday. And I have always brought her a meal. Even if I have nothing. I make sure mom gets her daily meal. This is all I have for her. Besides my time. Which I am thankful that I can give to her. I thank GOD for this.
It is only by the grace of GOD that I am able to be their everyday. Most nights I don't even think I can make it through the night. But each morning I get up and cook mom something and off I go. 3-4 hours. It is a miracle, this is what I think. Most people can't even imagine doing this. They don't know how I can keep doing it.
I love my mother and I want to be their. I don't even know how I manage it. What with the pain I am in, the depression I deal with. Not being able to use my right arm as I use to do, before this accident. And dealing with everything associated with ICBC and the PGT. It is not easy dealing with these government crown corporations.
But by the grace of GOD I do it. And love every minute of my time spent with mom. I look forward to the next day, and I miss here when I am gone. She is my salvation. My restoration of my soul.
I don't care what other's think of me, or what I think of myself. I do know one thing and that is I am a good person.
I am lucky to be able to be their for my mother. I am lucky to be able to take care of her.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
