Hello again
I will start off with this. I say I go and wash mom's hair or get her ready for bed. It is not as simple as washing her hair or just getting her ready for bed.
Mom is in a wheelchair, she can't use her left arm, it is stiff. Her body is stiff, legs and waist. So it is hard to move her about.
When I wash mom's hair, there is a process that I follow. I don't want to get the back of her wet, so I need to put a large bag around her, first. Then I put a towel around her, then anther bag. Now I need to lean her chair back as far as it can go. Without mom sliding out. The water has to be just right. And I need another towel to hold over her forehead to protect her eye's from getting soap in them. Use the shower wand, to rinse her hair, shampoo her head. Mom likes it when I massage her scalp as well as scratch her head. Now I need to put the towel on her forehead again, to rinse the shampoo from her head. After this I need to dry her off and then style her hair. Oh yes to put gel in her hair as well. All the while mom can be fighting me. Everything has to be perfect for mom not to fuss. And perfection is not always easy. Or it doesn't happen all the time.
I have to hold my hands over her ears when drying her hair. As the sound of the hair dryer is bothersome to mom. And if I am not doing just so, mom will push my hand away and get upset.
If I don't get the back of her wet, it is a good day. I am getting much better at not doing this, but sometimes. And I have done this so much now, that it takes me less than 15 minutes to wash and style her hair.
Off to her room to change her into her nightgown.
This is not easy as well. Remember mom is stiff, so getting her clothing off is difficult at times. I have learned over the years that I undress mom from the right and dress her from the left. Her left arm being very stiff and mom not being able to use it. Mom helps me out when she can, or her arms are not hurting her. And since she is in a wheelchair, everything is more difficult. I need to move her upper body forward to get the clothing off and put the nightgown on. And it is a challenge sometimes. When mom is tired, she is very stiff and just doesn't want to bend. So I have to gently place my arm behind her back and bend her forward, so I can get the top off. Getting her pants off is another story. I have to grab one side and pull, then the other side and do the same thing. All the while trying to keep mom from sliding down in the chair. Yes this is done while mom is in her chair.
Then repeat the process to get her nightgown on. Dress her from the left and undress her from the right. I keep having to mention this to the care aids. And I have to keep mentioning that when they change her pad, they can't roll her over onto her left side. This seriously hurts her left arm.
It takes me 20 minutes to undress and dress mom each night before she is put into bed. And I have it down to a science.
All this is taking place with me, having a weak and shaking arm. It hurts to use it and I am having difficulties doing things that I used to do without any problems. I am in pain now. As tonight mom got sick.
I brush her teeth and tell mom not to swallow until I can get her a drink. But sometimes, it happens and mom gags and coughs. Tonight she just coughed and coughed. And we, the care aid and myself were changing mom's sheets. As they the care aids from the morning shift didn't do it. Put mom's sheets on her bed, I mean. Anyways, we had to move mom from side to side to put the bottom sheet on and I guess all of this movement did not sit well with mom. She started to gag. I heard this and new what was coming. I tried to sit her up. I was on the wrong side of the bed. So I had to use my right arm and this was difficult. The right arm is weaker than my left. She got sick. Just put on the bottom sheet. All over the place. I tried to catch it with my hands. But I made even a bigger mess.
We got her change again. Put new sheets on her bed. After we washed the mattress down. Then we got mom into her nightgown.
Let us not forget we washed mom's face, I held her up while the care aid washed mom's back. I cleaned her hair. And mom was finally settled in for the night. Feeling not the greatest. But not getting sick anymore.
I will be buying mom new toothpaste, Infant toothpaste. As it is not so harsh. And I will be very careful. It is rarely that mom swallows the toothpaste. But to be sure this doesn't happen anymore. Infant toothpaste it is.
Now onto something else.
Some, who read this blog, have called me a bully. I prefer the word asshole. And I will be strong willed when it comes to taking care of mom. And looking out for her best interest. It is not my sister's who do this. It is not them, who is going from store to store to get what mom likes or to get her clothing. It is 3 to 4 hours for me to get to mom's during the day. I have to stop and get her fruit. Or go to the different store to look for clothing mom would like. Luckily I know what mom likes, as I have been buying her clothing for a very long time. I also am always looking around for something for mom.
I decorate her room. I have something in the works for her room now. Fall themed. I am the one making sure mom has what she needs for her safety. I make sure she has the right things for her chair.
Mom leans to the right. So I have been looking for something to put beside her to stop her from doing this. Can't find anything that is not under $100. so I am making something that will be comfortable for her and practical as well. It will stop her from leaning and she will still have full movement of her right side.
I bring all this up as I mentioned that I sought to get mom a ROHO cushion for her chair. To stop the sores on her bottom. I tell the worker at mom's to get one for mom's chair. She says lets try one out first to see if it will work. OK I say. Two weeks pass and what do you know, the sores have healed.
I tell the worker to order one. A few weeks pass and I phone and ask if she had done this. Yes I have. Well I always double check everything. So a few weeks go by and I ask her again. Yes it has been done, it is on her chair.
Now this cushion is $600 dollars. Yes that is right. Special individual chambers, that will make it as if mom is sitting on air.
Now tonight after they cleaned mom's chair. I guess they did it the night before. It is sitting there and I go and look at it. What do I find. A used ROHO cushion. Not a brand new one that is suppose to be on mom's chair, but a used one. Where oh where is the new $600 dollar cushion I say. Not on mom's chair.
I asked several times about thee purchasing mom this cushion and each time I am told that it has been done.
A used cushion in place of a $600 dollar ROHO cushion. I am livid now. This is the kind of thing they do. When I replaced mom legs rests on her chair. They took it upon themselves to take the old leg rests and use them for someone else's chair. Without even asking. When I bring this up, they tell me that this is what they do. So it doesn't cost someone who can't afford it, to have use of them.
Where is the brand new cushion. Not on mom's chair.
I will be writing the PGT and asking if mom's account has been billed for a new ROHO cushion.
I could be exaggerating this or miss understood the worker telling me she purchase the cushion. But I do know that it is a used cushion on her chair. I took pictures. And I know I said to go ahead and purchase this cushion. I know mom was getting sores on her bottom and I went searching for an answer to stopping this. It was I who approached the worker about getting mom this cushion.
OK I am in serious pain now, after writing all of this. I used to be able to write for hours before this accident. And I am even having to have to keyboard right up against me to write this and anything else.
Still no place to live
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
