Hello again
The pain I am feeling is an uncomfortable pain and it is very irritating. This is causing me to be very impatience with almost everyone.
I have to check it, when dealing with mom. It is hard, as I hurt and am extremely uncomfortable all the time. I have been a little short with mom. This is bringing guilt to me.
It is not mom's fault she is like this. When I say a little short,that is exactly what it is. It is painful for me to do the things I usually do for mom. This is causing the shortness.
I was just starting to go to the pool and am trying to get in shape, again. But that has stopped.
Mom ate well again. And this I can deal with. It is usually the day I do her hair, but tomorrow is now her bath day and they will wash her hair. Besides, mom was tired and just wanted to go to bed after dinner.
She is in bed by 7 pm and asleep by 8 pm.
What really bothers me is when I leave, I am worried all night long, until I get their the next day. If something would happen to mom. I can't get their.
I am very irritated right now. This place is empty, I have nothing.
OK, it was my birthday, yesterday and nothing. Just another day. No calls, no emails. Nothing. This bother's me.
I don't expect mom to do anything for me. And being their, taking care of mom, is the best gift I can get.
I know mom new it was my birthday. She wanted more hugs and kisses. Very affectionate.
I don't need anything. OK that is a lie.
Anyway.
Today mom was waiting for me. I saw this when I walked in. She was hungry and thirsty. I just love the huge smile I get each day when I arrive. It is beautiful and warm.
I am sorry that there is nothing bad happening for me to complain about. It seems most things are going smoothly. Except for all of my bullshit!
Not being able to find or afford anything.
I CAN'T STAND LIVING HERE ANYMORE. I AM STARTING TO GO CRAZY. SO IT SEEMS
Need to go.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
