Hello again
It is cold for Vancouver. -12 plus a wind chill. Very cold for Vancouver. So I need to wear gloves. I have this really nice leather glove. The left side. Have no idea where the right one is. I just spent one hour going through a few boxes trying to find the other side. No luck. I found other things I have been looking for. I have more boxes in the closet to look through. They are really nice gloves. OK, glove. I just can't afford to buy another pair, even cheap one's.
My face is cold, my hands are freezing. I am layered up to the point where I can't move to freely.
Oh well.
So I finally made the pasta dinner mom likes. I needed the pasta sauce. I brought it today and mom ate 3/4 of the plate. It is made in a 8 " pie plate and baked. So it fills the entire plate when transfered. And she ate some of the dinner that was served to her.
Mom has a great appetite. She eats more than I do. Right after she finished dinner, she grabbed my hand and closed her eye's. Ready to sleep. I just love this, it makes me feel loved. Just to know that mom loves me that much, that all she has to do is grab my hand and she knows she is safe. That is all she wants at the end of the day, to fall asleep holding my hand.
I am here for mom, no matter what. I keep going and going. Even after everyone tells me that I should take a break and go on a holiday or just take a day off. My answer is always, mom doesn't get to take a break from being stuck in the wheelchair, not being able to speak or use her left arm and hand, because of a stroke or several small strokes. So why should I take a break. Mom expects me to be their and that is exactly what I am going to do. No matter how I feel or how much pain I may be in. Or how depressed I feel.
I have to set my alarm clock two hours early. It takes me that long to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to sleep. But how can I do this to my poor mother. So I get up, get ready, make the calls or write the emails I need to write and then get going on my three hours cruise.
I am doing her laundry while I write this.
Mom is doing well, she knows exactly what I sound like when I arrive. Her hand goes out for me, right after I walk in. She must sense me.
Anyways I thought of many things to write, earlier today, but do you think I can remember any of it. I have a general idea of what I wanted to write. I am just going to have to write it down when I think of it.
This is the way I use to write poetry, I would write it on anything, just to get my thoughts down before I forgot them. Time to get another note pad.
So it is 12:30 am now, time to go. Back tomorrow.
GOD bless and good night.
I really want to find the other glove. Pray that GOD points me to where it might be.
Kris Schmuland
