Hello again
Today started off well enough, but the bus was really crowded and I don't do well in confined and crowded spaces. I became irritated and anxious. And all I wanted to do was get off the dam bus.
But I calmed down and was OK when I went into see mom. But I became very emotional after that. I cried a bit. I remembered my blog from last night and it is true, that I would do anything to have mom live with me full time and to take care of her.
It is a wish and it is my nightly prayer, that this happens. I really would love this to happen. I just don't have the means to do this.
I does bother me greatly.
Because it is difficult being poor, living in poverty. There are all kinds of health effects living like this. It is very stressful on one's body, mind and spirit. It is a vicious cycle to live in. Many times I see to end in sight to this poverty. The one thing that helps the most is I am taking care of mom and I look forward to this everyday. To show mom that someone actually loves her and is going to be and is there for her at all times.
It is Sunday and mom's bath day. So she is already in bed when I arrive. Of course they have her covered up with to many blankets and she is just sweating away. I am glad that the care aid on today, knows this and removed the comforter from her.
I immediately make mom as comfortable as possible to cool her off as much as I can.
I make her smoothies all the time, but I did something different this time around. Mom just loves this smoothie. I don't know what I did different. Except I added a different Mango. It made it thicker. It really doesn't matter, it only matters that she loves it.
OK it is 1 AM again, I really need to go to bed now. Even though it will be a while before I go to sleep. I just want to watch something and relax. Turn my mind off for a little while.
Please pray that I find a place in White Rock. For mom's sake.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
