Hello again
Mom is suffering because of the PGT. It is not them, nor me, but mom who suffers as a result of the PGT's excuses.
I myself am loosing my hearing more quickly than thought. I am not hearing people when they speak behind me, nor the chirping of the cross walks. And cars coming up behind me is one of the more difficult situations I am facing.
Well, not being able to get hearing aids is a problem for me. There is always the hearing dog when I do go deaf. I have wanted a dog for a while. So this is maybe an opportunity to get one.
As it is, in the last year, my eye sight has become very poor. I am in pain most of the time and my knee's are shot.
Because of my age, the doctor does not want to do anything until I am older. In my 60's he states. And on top of this I am loosing my hearing. Great to be me. I don't wish this upon anyone.
But it is OK. I am doing what I need to do. And that is take care of my mother. It is mom who taught me to be a kind and caring individual. To help others.
OK, by me choosing, or being chosen to take care of her. I am having to give up on many,many things. Eating on a regular basis'. Having the clothing I was accustom to. Driving, which I have not done in almost 10 years now. I mean I have not had a car. Or could I of and can't afford one.
I do, however, would love to own a Mini Van that is covered to handle wheelchairs. And I would like a TV. I wanted a stereo, but loosing my hearing has put a damper on that idea. Wouldn't one say.
I am OK with not having a girlfriend. I only loved one person and she is not in this province anymore. And I don't have the time. I travel to much. That takes care of my day. Oh sure I meet allot of women on transit. But, come on now, who would want to date me. I am broke, I have nothing. And I could not do anything for them. I couldn't even have them over for dinner and a movie. No TV. And no real cash to make a good dinner. After all, mom is more important than I am .
Mom's dinner's are horrendous. This is why it is important for me to make her and bring her healthy dinners and foods.
If it were not for the fresh fruit I bring, allot of nights mom would not even eat. I
I am so thankful that mom raised me right. To be caring and compassionate. I knew a very long time ago that I would be the one taking care of my mother and father. Sadly, Dad passed away, several years ago now. And I will do everything I can to keep mom healthy and happy. As I am doing now.
I now need to build or buy a mirror box. To rehab mom's left arm and hand. This is from a stroke. And of course no therapy
The home keeps wanting to give mom shots to calm her down. I will never let that happen. I can do this with the massage therapy and her nightly spa treatment.
After all, once I arrive, the staff does not have to do anything, except change her pad. That is all they do.
This is the way it is and I am happy this way. And so is mom. Again, no one puts her to bed except myself. It is not a pretty site when someone else does it. Actually, it has happened only once. And that was not a very good plan. So they don't and let me put her to bed.
I am her caregiver and I alone only knows what is best for her.
I have chosen to do this. Not because I have too. But because I need to and want too.
So pray that GOD helps me move to White Rock, That HE helps me with furnishings and a nice TV. A theme isn't it. I watch everything from my computer and the screen is small. The sound is horrible.
I need to go. Time to sleep. OK watch what I down loaded this evening.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
