Hello again
So it is Christmas, as the song goes. But there is no happy song here.
It is a sad story. The large scrooge is not helping
Until I sobered up, I did not even know what the meaning of " To love somebody" was. Until I started to look after my ailing parents. It has been 5 years since my father passed away, and my mother has Dementia, lung cancer and has had a stroke. but she is Ok, for now.
To give of yourself freely, To do everything you can for one another. To be there for someone, without expecting anything in return.
It was and is my mother who has taught me this. By me, looking after her, taking care of her everyday. I am learning many, important things.That use to elude me. As I was a selfish asshole.
Until I sobered up that is. And started to take care of my parents.
Lonely seniors die sooner, Do something about it.
If we have the means, should we not, out of moral obligation, do what we can for other's
These are a few of the things I have learned from being their for mom.
But the most important thing of all. I have learned to love someone else. Of course I never loved myself. Otherwise I would not of become an alcoholic and pot head, and ruined my life.
But my life is now, a servant, to make sure mom is well taken care of, and looked after. After all the home does not adequately take care of her, in the way I feel mom should be taken care of.
But what is the worst part of this month is that I can't buy mom a Christmas present.
I won't be eating for, well, who knows how long. I just can't afford it. I don't have a winter coat, and I have tried to get help with this.
But none of that matters, since I can't get mom a Christmas present. Not even a Christmas card.
This is the most important time of the year for mom. Knowing her husband passed away this month. I try to do all I can for her. And I want to do more.
This is why it is so important to move to White Rock, to be able to spend more time with mom. To be able have mom over for visits.
There are places, as I mentioned in my last blog. That are for people like me, disabled and with a low income. I need a phone for this.
And yesterday, I made this video, online, for mom. It is a Santa message for mom. But I don't have time or data on my phone. The home has no wifi connection. And for me to download it, I need to purchase it. Otherwise we can simply just view it. Not without an Internet connection though. I spent time making this through this one site, that was offering it. It is not very expensive at all to download it. $2.00. But I have not, the $2.00, nor do I have the credit card it requires to pay for it. Even the cheapest pre paid credit card is $25.00 This was emailed to me through a trusted source.
I really don't have a clue what I am going to do about this. I thought mom would get a kick out of it. And make her happy. It is Santa talking about her. Cute and festive.
Well time to go, I need to go to bed. I am not feeling very good. I just am.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
